How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
