New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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