What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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