My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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