when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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