So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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