PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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