that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
These tits shall not be calmed
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
