we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
