help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
