I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
