would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
