Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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