I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
