the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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