The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
