Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
