Your tits are I can't wait for
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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