I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
is it fun? or sober?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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