Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
