The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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