i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
