well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
