I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
