Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
