Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
