Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
