I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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