sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
