We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We left the knife in your bed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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