You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
