alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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