i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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