That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize