oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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