I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
a search helicopter?!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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