Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
