too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
