dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
