seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
