So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
