smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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