I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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