Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
