I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
