By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
