You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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