very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
