We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
