Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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