I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
