would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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