we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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