Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
