great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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