She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize