its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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