She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
