your thong is hanging out like whoa
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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