He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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