"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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