so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
