Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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