why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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