also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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